We all already have so many fun things planned for the warmer months, and I can't even describe how excited I am! Camping, fishing, hiking and much much more, all of which will, of course, will be accompanied with blog posts and pictures ;).
Sunday, February 24, 2013
So far so good...
So at the end of December I recall stating to practically everyone that this year (2013) was going to be absolutely amazing. I am here to report that so far, that's exactly what it is! I've gotten a new job, two in fact. I've made some new friends, purchased a camera with my tax return; a camera that will, no doubt, get an insane amount of use this summer. I've officially gotten rid of the ex, and.... I've met someone new :D! And it's not even March!
We all already have so many fun things planned for the warmer months, and I can't even describe how excited I am! Camping, fishing, hiking and much much more, all of which will, of course, will be accompanied with blog posts and pictures ;).
We all already have so many fun things planned for the warmer months, and I can't even describe how excited I am! Camping, fishing, hiking and much much more, all of which will, of course, will be accompanied with blog posts and pictures ;).
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Tax Refundddd
So excited for this year's tax refund! I've decided, that my bills are always going to be there, so I'm going to spend my tax return on something that will make me happy, and then something else that has the potential to get me ahead in the long run rather than for only a couple of months.
This year with my taxes, I plan to finally purchase for myself a digital SLR camera, so I no longer have to use Dave's! It's going to be so great and I can't even begin to describe how excited I am. :-D :-D :-D
ALSO, I'm going to be starting my own business. I'm going to be doing slumber parties! Pretty excited, and they say you get back as much as you put into it...so it's got the potential to make me some pretty decent monies!
This year with my taxes, I plan to finally purchase for myself a digital SLR camera, so I no longer have to use Dave's! It's going to be so great and I can't even begin to describe how excited I am. :-D :-D :-D
ALSO, I'm going to be starting my own business. I'm going to be doing slumber parties! Pretty excited, and they say you get back as much as you put into it...so it's got the potential to make me some pretty decent monies!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Photography has quickly become a special kind of therapy for me the past few months, and has been instrumental in overcoming the trials I have recently been faced with. Unfortunately, it has been bitterly cold outside and I have been unable to get out and really enjoy it. Not to mention, I do not always have access to the awesome camera I LOVE to use (seeing as how it belongs to a friend).
The last photography "trip" took place in Eureka, UT. Not a very exciting place, but I was able to get some awesome shots, a few of which involved a cute kitty cat that attached itself to us on our little "nature" walk.
Another great thing about going out "shooting", as Dave calls it, is that I get to socialize a bit. It's always good to go with someone, have a little chat, and if you're comfortable enough, vent about life's problems. Dave and I are always able to have very deep conversations (sometimes so deep I find myself getting frustrated) and in 'most' cases I head home feeling much better about things going on in my life, as well as things going on around me.
I'd imagine that it's a mixture of the fresh air, good company, and being "forced" to take a look at the simple (or complex) beauties around you, that tend to force all of the negativity out of our over thinking, over-analyzing brains.
Negativity can't just disappear forever, of course, we can't (no one can) be positive 100% of the time, but keeping distracted sure does help!! -- was gonna post a couple but...too much work haha.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Moving Past...Everything....
You know when something goes completely wrong in your life, and you are left not only devastated and heartbroken, but so completely lost that you can't think, can't feel anything but the pain, can't see any light. When these things happen, you are left with the opportunity, yes, I said opportunity, to make a choice. You can choose to let what happened completely destroy you, tear you down and beat you day in and day out, always leaving you on the brink of death. OR you can allow the pain to make you a better person.
Recently, as you all now know, I went through a pretty difficult breakup. I realize many breakups are difficult, and I don't claim to have it any better or worse than anyone else. This breakup was very unexpected, which is why, I'd imagine, it was as difficult as it was. One day, we are at this nieces baby shower blessing, him mentioning that church is where we would have OUR babies blessed, and talking about moving in together, and that very night "I need time to figure out what it is I want. WHO I want." A week later, he chose her over me. I was devastated. I went from engaged, almost being a wife, step mother, daughter in law, and sister in law, to nothing.
Angry, hurt, bitter. No words were enough to describe my feelings. How could he leave me, and for her, of all people. Why wasn't I good enough? After beating myself up, tearing myself down with questions that made me the bad guy, that made ME the problem, I asked myself "Why do I care?" I've never had the best self esteem, and have never felt very highly of myself, but suddenly I felt empowered. Angry, but at the right people. I told myself that I was worth more than the torture I was putting myself through. I deserved to be loved and cherished, and to be with a man who see's only me. I deserve a man who will love and care for me JUSTas much as I do for him.
Why was I wasting my time hurting over someone who never really loved me? When I realized I could do so much better, I stopped hurting. I was smiling and making friends, going out and having fun. Overall, I felt better.
Sure, now and then I have my lonely nights. I get a little bit down and find myself missing him, was bound to happen no matter how well I was doing. I am happy though definitely not quite ready to move on...and that's okay because I have been able to overcome this trial (and yes it is a work in progress) I have many new friends, am getting ahead financially, making plans for my future that, for once, are not centered around a man.
This coming year is going to be so good and so productive. I am excited to start getting ahead in my life and work on being a full, happy person all on my own. No more counting on men to make me happy. I know, given time, I will be able to accomplish anything and everything I put my mind to.
I know we all have struggles and none are easier or harder than the things anyone else has to face! Everyone handles things differently and something that I consider "easy to deal with" may be the most difficult thing someone else has ever faced. Regardless of what we face and where we are at in life, it is SO important that we never let even the worst of our struggles defeat us. Don't let them win!
This year, I've started going to the gym every day that I work. I will be doing yoga at home on my own daily. Eating out less and spending less money overall will help me save money and aid in getting farther and farther ahead in my goals, especially in the financial aspect of my life. Friend(s) have been joining me at the gym and I have not missed a day since we started! In exercising and eating better, I have already noticed a change in my mood and how my body feels overall (and I mean more than the soreness).
People all over talk about New Years Resolutions and what they would like to accomplish in the coming year. I always thought that they seemed kind of dumb, especially when it turned out that within the first months of the New Year, they have given up. This is my first year setting resolutions for myself. Luckily, I've got friends to help me through and help make sure I stick to it.
Thank you, again for those of you who have been here for me through everything, and especially those who have supported me through some of the more private struggles. It means the world to me that so many of you care, and it has helped me through more than you could possibly know. I love my new friends as much as I love the old and you all mean the world to me. Without you, I would not be where I am today: on my way to being a better, more successful person.
Recently, as you all now know, I went through a pretty difficult breakup. I realize many breakups are difficult, and I don't claim to have it any better or worse than anyone else. This breakup was very unexpected, which is why, I'd imagine, it was as difficult as it was. One day, we are at this nieces baby shower blessing, him mentioning that church is where we would have OUR babies blessed, and talking about moving in together, and that very night "I need time to figure out what it is I want. WHO I want." A week later, he chose her over me. I was devastated. I went from engaged, almost being a wife, step mother, daughter in law, and sister in law, to nothing.
Angry, hurt, bitter. No words were enough to describe my feelings. How could he leave me, and for her, of all people. Why wasn't I good enough? After beating myself up, tearing myself down with questions that made me the bad guy, that made ME the problem, I asked myself "Why do I care?" I've never had the best self esteem, and have never felt very highly of myself, but suddenly I felt empowered. Angry, but at the right people. I told myself that I was worth more than the torture I was putting myself through. I deserved to be loved and cherished, and to be with a man who see's only me. I deserve a man who will love and care for me JUSTas much as I do for him.
Why was I wasting my time hurting over someone who never really loved me? When I realized I could do so much better, I stopped hurting. I was smiling and making friends, going out and having fun. Overall, I felt better.
Sure, now and then I have my lonely nights. I get a little bit down and find myself missing him, was bound to happen no matter how well I was doing. I am happy though definitely not quite ready to move on...and that's okay because I have been able to overcome this trial (and yes it is a work in progress) I have many new friends, am getting ahead financially, making plans for my future that, for once, are not centered around a man.
This coming year is going to be so good and so productive. I am excited to start getting ahead in my life and work on being a full, happy person all on my own. No more counting on men to make me happy. I know, given time, I will be able to accomplish anything and everything I put my mind to.
I know we all have struggles and none are easier or harder than the things anyone else has to face! Everyone handles things differently and something that I consider "easy to deal with" may be the most difficult thing someone else has ever faced. Regardless of what we face and where we are at in life, it is SO important that we never let even the worst of our struggles defeat us. Don't let them win!
This year, I've started going to the gym every day that I work. I will be doing yoga at home on my own daily. Eating out less and spending less money overall will help me save money and aid in getting farther and farther ahead in my goals, especially in the financial aspect of my life. Friend(s) have been joining me at the gym and I have not missed a day since we started! In exercising and eating better, I have already noticed a change in my mood and how my body feels overall (and I mean more than the soreness).
People all over talk about New Years Resolutions and what they would like to accomplish in the coming year. I always thought that they seemed kind of dumb, especially when it turned out that within the first months of the New Year, they have given up. This is my first year setting resolutions for myself. Luckily, I've got friends to help me through and help make sure I stick to it.
Thank you, again for those of you who have been here for me through everything, and especially those who have supported me through some of the more private struggles. It means the world to me that so many of you care, and it has helped me through more than you could possibly know. I love my new friends as much as I love the old and you all mean the world to me. Without you, I would not be where I am today: on my way to being a better, more successful person.
I hope that each and every one of you have as good a year as I know I'm going to have!
WELCOME TO 2013!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
A Matter of Self Image
This July 4th I had the chance to hang out with a photographer friend of mine, whom I have mentioned before. We decided after a few weeks of me constantly hating myself because of my weight, that we would set a day for a photo shoot. We hoped that by seeing myself in some actual portraits, with little to no editing, I would begin to see that what I view as "flaws" only add to my character (when I say character, he means beauty :-P). Though I was not too happy with a few of the photos of myself, there were a few that really made me wonder what it was I hated so much. I must admit I have felt a little bit better about myself since the shoot. Though I still have days where I can barely look at myself, no doubt due to the media's image of "perfect women", I am starting to see that something other than super skinny can still be beautiful. Of course, Stuart has been telling me all along that I needn't change a thing :-) (except perhaps to grow out my hair, hehe).
When Dreams Become Reality...
Have you ever woken up from an amazing dream and remembered every detail in every perfect moment? This was my experience as I awoke this morning. Though I am sure with time the memories of the moments may fade, the feeling it left me with couldn't possibly. Have you ever wished dreams came true? Have you ever hoped for the impossible as you stare up at the stars? Have you ever considered what our dreams are telling us about what our future may hold?
I don't claim to be an expert on dreams. I don't claim to know anything, really, though I do have my own hopes and dreams, and possibly that is where the idea that our dreams may be telling the future comes from. True, these are probably just the rantings of some crazy chick who seems to be all over the place lately....but what if I'm right? No, I don't think that every horrible nightmare is telling us that we are going to end up drowning, walking down the hallways naked, being chased by zombies, or whatever else your twisted minds come up with (that would be insane!). When I dream, some are in black and white, some are in technicolor, some only have one or two colors that stand out to me, but I feel every single one of them does have a meaning. NO, an umbrella does not mean I'm thinking about sex. NO, dreaming about a fan, a TV, a dresser, or my boyfriend, does NOT mean I am thinking about sex (any of my peeps who took psych will find this amusing :-P). By meaning, I....mean...lol...that when I dream...my mind is putting things into perspective in a way that I can fully comprehend where the BIGGEST and most important issues and/or desires lay.
I will not be telling you what my dream was about, especially since I have yet to even tell Stuart, though I'm not sure I will even be telling him. At least not for a while. I will tell you that, though I have been down a similar road before, the road I am on currently is definitely where I need to be. It is filled with positive thinking and tons of support from all of those close to me. I need not make any more excuses for others as I travel down this path and can finally simply sit back and enjoy the ride. I know what I want. I know what I need. I intend to go out and make my dreams come true :-).
I don't claim to be an expert on dreams. I don't claim to know anything, really, though I do have my own hopes and dreams, and possibly that is where the idea that our dreams may be telling the future comes from. True, these are probably just the rantings of some crazy chick who seems to be all over the place lately....but what if I'm right? No, I don't think that every horrible nightmare is telling us that we are going to end up drowning, walking down the hallways naked, being chased by zombies, or whatever else your twisted minds come up with (that would be insane!). When I dream, some are in black and white, some are in technicolor, some only have one or two colors that stand out to me, but I feel every single one of them does have a meaning. NO, an umbrella does not mean I'm thinking about sex. NO, dreaming about a fan, a TV, a dresser, or my boyfriend, does NOT mean I am thinking about sex (any of my peeps who took psych will find this amusing :-P). By meaning, I....mean...lol...that when I dream...my mind is putting things into perspective in a way that I can fully comprehend where the BIGGEST and most important issues and/or desires lay.
I will not be telling you what my dream was about, especially since I have yet to even tell Stuart, though I'm not sure I will even be telling him. At least not for a while. I will tell you that, though I have been down a similar road before, the road I am on currently is definitely where I need to be. It is filled with positive thinking and tons of support from all of those close to me. I need not make any more excuses for others as I travel down this path and can finally simply sit back and enjoy the ride. I know what I want. I know what I need. I intend to go out and make my dreams come true :-).
Rodney Atkins Concert!
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