Changes, Heartache, and Revelations

     I've been engaged now for about a year to my dear fiancée, Ali. We had planned to marry last December, but plans fell through when a few things came up relating to finances. So, we soon began discussing the possibility of a summer wedding, and I allowed myself to become excited all over again. I had so many things planned, not to mention I've already bought a dress (which is absolutely gorgeous, by the way). Things were coming together well, all I needed was a for sure date from Ali, and a way for us to get around certain obstacles in our lives. Long story short, Ali and I have decided together that we are going to wait for a while before we start any wedding plans again. We've come to the realization that there are certain things that need to be taken care of before we tie the knot, and that for now, a religious wedding will have to be enough. 

     At first, the thought of not getting married right away devastated me, and in a way, I suppose it still does. However, I began to wonder why, exactly I'm so intent on marrying now. If I love Ali so much why can't I wait? I've realized that what I want from Ali shouldn't have a time limit. That because I love him so much, I should be willing to wait however long it takes to get things taken care of. I have decided to try and stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks, and especially what everyone else has, and focus on the good things in my life. I'm going to try my hardest to see the good in the worst of times, and to stop being so selfish and think only of myself and the things I want to accomplish. I know that if I can learn to be patient, and happy with the things I have, God will finally give me peace and stop this waiting. 

     So here is to the start of something different, that will lead to something so much better than I ever could have hoped for. I love you, Ali.